Tuesday, 17 July 2012

I'm smiling at the counter, which now reads 992

   I have to say, I am always amazed when I come to my blog. Not only that people are reading it, but by the numbers. I know, why would it seem so odd that someone would want to read my words?
Well, its not really about that. I am a writer, of course I want people to read my words. But a blog is so much more than words, its more thoughts and opinions. And I guess I never thought I would ever have anything interesting enough to say.
But, wow! Seeing the counter on the blog every time I pop over is very encouraging, and to me shows that I'm not rambling on too much. I am so happy that people are stopping by, and it seems that some are coming back too....horray!

It reminds me in a very immediate way that I have readers and really keeps me going. Because, really, anyone who tells you that the novel writing is easy is....well....either I missed something or they're on another planet, and I'm inclined to go with the other planet theory.
Not that I am complaining, because I love it. I love the work...hell, I even love the editing and revising. And right now its keeping me balanced and sane while in the throws of recovery from a personal tragedy, as only art could. That was one thing that my Mother taught me from a very young age, to feed this compulsion and it will give you purpose and strength, as her sculpture did for her. And its there for you in a way that a human being cannot be, and its a place for you to seek personal refuge if need be. Knowing all that, I think, was what gave me the courage and pig headed ambition to keep at this no matter what, giving up is never an option. It still isn't now, and never will be.

As I write this I wonder, in a funny way I hope, that someone like me is reading this, someone who has a passion for something that they want to explore but don't have the courage, or have people in their world that don't quite 'get it', or they hide it under their bed or outside in a shed somewhere where no one would ever look. If this is a part of what you are as a person then you need to express it and damn what anyone else says!
That's why I smile at 992, because now that for the first time in, probably, my whole life I am being who I really am, my thoughts are acknowledged. Thank you all for that. Its a beautiful gift, but also humbling at the same time.

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